Summer means family vacations, cookouts, and spending time outdoors. All are rich opportunities for the family to spend quality time with one another, recharge, and enjoy all that nature has to offer. But how do you make the most of this precious time?
Here are 3 tips for you:
Recognize the value of quiet and down time. With good intentions, we all try to cram our schedules full to make the most of seeing, doing, and taking in all of the fun things to do around us. But don't forget to schedule some down time! This is key for everyone to be well-rested and energized. Some of your best memories as a family will be sitting around and just hanging out, engaging in conversation. Downtime may allow priceless and valuable one-on-one time with kids who don’t usually get that dedicated time with you.
Simple pleasures are often the most memorable (and least costly). Don’t go overboard with planning things to do. Chasing lightning bugs on summer nights in the backyard, playing wiffle ball or tag in a green space, or making s’mores around a campfire are sometimes the most memorable times for your family. Kids just want to be with you and for you to be present in the moment. Enjoy the simple things!
Put up the electronics and disconnect from work. I was guilty of staying way too connected to my phone and work as my kids were growing up. Although I felt like I dedicated a lot of time to them, I know that I often was not present. I put work first too many times. I will never forget when one of my boys, who was probably 6 at the time, grabbed my face, turned it toward him, and asked, “Are you listening to me?” I clearly wasn’t. It was an eye-opening moment for me. While I cannot go back in time to do things differently, I can advise each of you to be intentional about being present and to not take for granted the time you have right now with family – the years are few and fleeting.
I’ve been able to share these tips and others in a number of discussions with young fathers lately, which has been rewarding for me, but also insightful into the challenges of parenthood today. One consistent topic that typically comes up in these conversations is, “How do you know when you are doing too much for your children vs not enough?”
I believe the answer is that our job is to raise them to be independent. I heard it said recently that “you want to do enough for your children so they can do for themselves, but not so much that they won’t need or want to”. This takes a lot of patience, trust in how you raised them and advice from others.
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