Parenthood is all about keeping the end in mind. What do we really want for our children down the road?
We all have many goals and aspirations for our children but ultimately, we raise them to be independent and to need us less as the years pass. The journey feels very long and challenging in the beginning as a new parent holding your newborn child, but every year that passes you see your little one growing in their decision-making skills, physical independence and, one day, financial and daily living independence.
Our two sons are grown men now (22 and 25 years old). I realize now more than ever how important is easy to be intentional early on to foster their independence. As I consider the conversations I have had with Dr. Katy Hopkins on child development, I am reminded that one of the most difficult aspects of being a parent is being in the presence of your child’s distress. It's not comfortable to see them struggle. For their sake and ours we want to solve the problem and remove the pain for both of us. Right?
There are times when saving the day is appropriate. But, when it’s related to problems they need to solve or developmental milestones that require them to work through on their own, the best thing we can do is to step back and have faith that we have prepared them for the moment. Even if they fail, there is still great learning and value.
In our empty nesting phase I have realized that the best thing I can do for our sons is to love them, encourage them, listen to them, and occasionally make suggestions when appropriate, while making sure not to remove their drive, desire, and necessity to be independent.
No matter which stage you are in on this journey that is parenting, I hope these thoughts provide some solace and solutions to consider. Take a deep breath, count your blessings, and lean on others as you need because you are certainly not alone.
Josh Honaker, MD, MBA, FAAP
Founder and CEO
Be sure to check out more resources on this topic:
Busting the Sleep Myths You’ve Always Heard | Ep. 21
“Will I ever sleep again?” “Are regressions a real thing?” “Should you wake a sleeping baby?” We discuss these and so much more around a very hot topic: infant sleep.
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